From what I've read recently on various groups on Fetlife, when the going gets tough, the Dominant gets going.
There have been several posts recently about submissive or slave partners in relationships becoming ill and being abandoned by their partners. The loss of their support in this kind of situation must be incredibly debilitating. It is clearly depressing to be ill, and also to lose a relationship, but this kind of situation seems to increase both exponentially rather than just mathematically.
As a submissive partner, I have often felt that my own shortcomings make me a less worthy partner for him. Because of an old knee injury, I cannot kneel for very long. He would love to have a girl who could kneel by his feet for hours. Because I cannot provide this for him, I suffer from pretty profound guilt. I probably think about it more than he does. I think he deserves someone perfect, because I think he's amazing. I want to be perfect for him, and because I can't be, I beat myself up about it.
Worse, I was recently diagnosed with onset of a hereditary disease that is going to change our lives a bit. I always knew that my chances for being diagnosed were better than even odds, but being an optimist, I assumed I'd somehow beat the chances. I haven't, and it's a sad thing, and it makes me feel like even more of a failure as his slave, because again, I think he deserves perfection. No, it's not my "fault" that this happened, but I still feel badly. I was terrified to tell him when I came out of the doctor's office, because I was so afraid he would be angry at me or disappointed in me.
I should have had more faith. He was upset that this had happened to me, yes. He was not mad at me, though, and he certainly wasn't going to leave me because of it. Instead, he wanted to know what we could both do to improve my health, so he could keep me around longer.
We've been through some pretty devastating things in the past. We lost a child. We had a house burn to the ground, leaving us homeless and possession-less. We've had the typical rifts any married couple has, too. So many people give up when things are hard. In fact, I've had people express surprise that we made it through losing a child, because so many people break up when that happens. I've always somewhat considered that it was the M/s side of our relationship that made us stronger. It's a deeper commitment to me, than marriage, and entails expressing more trust and openness. It requires more communication.
This is why it boggles my mind when a Dominant leaves when a partner is ill. Is it the idea of "my toy is broken, I need a new one?" Because I don't have a dominant mindset, I may never really understand what provokes it. I do know, however, that were my Master to be sick, leaving would be the furthest thing from my mind. I wish I could teach people that sticking through the hard parts of a relationship is what makes relationships worthwhile. It leads to a depth of being together, a closeness of the soul that you just don't have unless you have passed through some trials in life. We certainly didn't have it before we managed through the challenges we've had, and now that we do have it, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
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