There was a bit of irony in my life this week. A few days ago we had decided that based on some reading we'd done on fetlife and because we both had strong opinions on the subject we'd write about people who abandon a relationship when it gets difficult. We've been through a lot in our lives together - we lost a child, our house burned down, I've lost my job (our sole income), and we've had various other emotional issues that are part of being married. Through all of those I have never considered leaving my wife and slave. In fact I believe it is partly her strength and my need to caretake her that has helped me through things. I've always had something to focus on in my life - her.
Now this Friday we discovered that my girl has a genetic problem that is going to require us to change our lives. Not dramatically, but enough to notice the change. We've both known this was a possibility for her, but have been thankful that so far she has been lucky. Not so any longer. Things are compounded for me since she was alone in the doctor's office, and when she came out there were tears in her eyes and she told me things had not gone well. She then refused to tell me what actually happened. Afterward she explained that she was worried I would be angry with 'her' for this problem. It never occured to me that she was at a fault here. I was actually extremely relieved, because I was sure she was terminally ill and was going to die - I couldn't think of another reason not to tell me what had happened.
To me - this is just life. Things happen and you deal with them to the best of your ability. Whining and complaining about things does not make them better, nor does it make them go away. This is just one more thing that both of us has to deal with. I won't say it will be easy, but nothing in life is really easy - at least nothing worth doing.
In our relationship part of my role is that of a caretaker. She trusts me to do what is best for her, and in return I make sure she is safe, cared for and has what she needs to survive and thrive. I usually conscript her to help me complete my role, since she is the one that knows herself best - but in the end I make the decisions to the best of my ability. So when she is sick, I care for her - when she is feeling down I cheer her up.
It is a foreign concept for me that I would just walk away when the going becomes difficult. Though it seems like a common thread. Perhaps it is love, or caring - but aren't those feelings necessary when taking on a M/s relationship? can you seperate out caring and still be a true Master? I can see play partners that might meet occasionally for S&M scening might have more of a casual 'friendship' relationship, but even then, is there no caring? I wouldn't abandon my dog because she was sick, I care about her well being and want her to be happy and as fullfilled as she can be. I don't feel that caring compromises my ability to be Dominant, or to be a Master - I believe it is an integral part of it.
Now this is of course only my opinion, some people are obviously programmed differently from me - and likely just as I can't understand them, they don't understand me. I challenge people to communicate in their relationships and determine which side of the coin they fall on. Is caring something you can forego in your relationship? Do your partner(s) mean nothing to you other than what you can take from them to serve your own needs? Do you want to mean more than that to your partner?
Notice I use 'caring' and not love. Love is an encompassing emotion that includes caring - but the caring is what makes us take care of each other.
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