Technique Tuesday: Beat the Feet

I learned something new this week, which is always a good thing.  I don't think I've mentioned it on here, but I grew up reading the Gor series by John Norman.  It shaped a lot of my views on life in general and I still identify partly as a 'Gorean'.  Well, while doing some searching about this topic my girl discovered that Bastinado was actually used on Gor - I had no idea (or likely at the time reading it I had no idea what the word meant so it didn't stick in my head).

So - that's my cool T. trivia for the week.

Onto the real topic - Beating Feet.

For us this was a long process.  When we first met she wouldn't even let me look at her feet, let alone touch them.  Beating them was like some kind of crazy fantasy that was likely never going to come true.

Just like with everything else, taking it slow and working up to things is how you get it done.  I was actually kind of disappointed at first because I'd actually learned that feet can be a big erogenous zone for women and I'd practiced enough that I could give pretty killer foot massages (with ulterior motives).  So - to begin I started by explaining all that, then worked on her letting me touch them, then onto rubbing.  As a side note she has the most ticklish feet ever and it is 'very' hard to resist absolutely torturing her by tickling them all the time.

Kitty Demo Bottom

I think after the first 'real' foot massage I had her convinced, and since then she's been less skittish about me being near them.  I'm not sure that they're 'innocent' feet any longer, but she still claims that they are whenever I 'abuse' them.

Like many things, this was a topic she actually brought up.  While I push her limits I usually wait for her to accept that new boundary and come up with her own ideas so she moves forward at her own pace.  I'm not sure exactly where this idea came up and she actually had to explain it to me, but once I got the idea in my head it definitely became my own.

Caning of the feet - how to start?  With a cane of course.  First problem ... she is way too ticklish for 'light' caning.  She burst out in giggles and was kicking madly.  We ended up putting on a pair of really thick socks and working from there.  Also for the first few sessions I had to hold her feet down (or tie them) pretty tightly to prevent kicking and flailing.

We progressed into thinner socks, then finally onto bare feet.  It wasn't actually a long process, after every other session or so we advanced a bit further - I think she got more comfortable with it over time and could just enjoy the sensations.

Since we had a decent toy box (back in the past) I didn't limit myself to just caning her feet.  I've used floggers, slappers, wooden spoons - quite a few things actually on her feet.  Nothing seems to give the same effect or control as a cane does though.  I also particularly like the bouncy effect an acrylic cane has.  It's almost a fluid movement moving my wrist back and forth while it warps and bends a bit, letting the momentum take some of the effort.

In actual practice there are a ton of different ways to actually perform bastinado.  I'll focus on the cane, since that's what I use most often - with feet being small it's easier to control the blows with something a bit smaller.

Just like using a cane on other parts I'm sure most of the technique is the same.  Most of the force comes either from my wrist, or from the cane itself.

Rapid blows are performed by quickly flicking the wrist and letting the cane 'bounce' on the skin.  Since the canes are often slightly springy (unless they're huge), taking advantage of their momentum lets you create more force without putting out a lot of effort.

Harder and more solid blows can be performed by using a faster flick of the wrist and at the same time trying to press the crop through the skin so it doesn't rebound back.

Do you see the blissed look on her face?

Using the center of the cane usually has more spring than using the tip.  In fact the tip can cause a more direct and forceful blow to a small area, since it is the center that flexes the tip will hit solidly and stay firmly in place after the blow (I've noticed this becomes thuddier rather than stingyier).

I also make longer and more widely timed blows by using my whole arm and letting the weight of the cane cause the impact rather than the energy from my wrist.  The same kind of technique you use when flogging works here.  Some lighter canes still require force to land solidly.

Depending on your partner there is also a difference between striking both feet at once, or one at a time.  Often it's difficult to line them up properly unless they're tied, and even then your partner will likely try to hide one under the other.  I've found that I have to hold them with one hand and strike with the other.  There isn't a 'better' way of course, by striking one at a time you can get inside your partner's head, they never really know where the blows are going to land so it makes it harder to protect one (or both) of the feet.

Since this often mixes two of my favorite past times (bondage and impact play) it is definitely one of my favorite activities.  If you haven't tried it, start with a light tapping and see how that feels, then go from there.  I think it would be worth your while.

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Technique Tuesday: Bastinado

Bastinado, also known as falanga and falaka, is the art of whipping the bottoms of pretty, vulnerable, innocent little feets.  Or at least that's what I call my feet when I'm trying to hide them, sole-to-sole, against a threatening cane.  "Poor innocent feets!"

The truth is, I just love it.

I have this thing about not liking feet in general.  I think they're kind of icky.  I hate having people touch mine, especially strangers.  I don't even like people looking at mine unless they are safely tucked away in socks.  I just don't think of them as a pretty part, and the idea of a foot fetish in general makes me very confused.  To me, it might as well be an elbow fetish; I just don't get it.  Then again, everyone's kink is different.

Then I wound up with this guy who gives amazing foot massages.  He explained to me the ways in which he'd learned to get women all worked up... through their feet.  I didn't think it was possible.  I mean feet?  Feet?  Sexy times with feet?  No way.

It took a long time for me to be able to relax enough to let him touch them, let alone massage them.  My feet are very sensitive and ticklish, and I hate being tickled (See here for reference!), so it took some real trust to let him have his way with them without protest, squealing, and struggling to get away.  When I did?  Oh it was a complete revelation.  And while at times I'm still shy about my feet, and have a tendency to tuck them beneath myself, sit on them, hide them under pets or pillows or whatever else is handy when he reaches for them... I'm aware that there's much more to feet than meets the eye.

I've mentioned before how much I adore the videos from Hogtied, and that's where my curiosity about bastinado was piqued.  If massaging my feet was awesome, and hit all these erogenous spots, what would happen with caning of the feet?  I brought it up tentatively, shyly, uncertainly, and it gave the Masterly one kind of an evil glint in his eyes. He likes it, I think, when I am interested in trying something that also has me really freaked out.  He enjoys vulnerability and fear on display.

I can't remember when we first tried it, but it was years ago and with our previous acrylic cane.  We moved on to floggers, slappers, wooden spoons, and all kinds of punishment for those poor innocent feets.  And what I learned is, those same erogenous zones that got so stimulated from his massaging hands were even more stimulated with the pain of a beating.  It pushed all of my buttons, including, incidentally, my light interest in humiliation, because I find having my feet at his mercy both humbling and humiliating.  I'm not sure why, it's likely because it's a part of me that I feel so driven to keep hidden, the way most people would feel about displaying a blemish that made them self-conscious.  And my display of pleasure and arousal from it feeds that humiliation even more, of course.

If you've never tried bastinado, it's worth a try (especially for feet-o-phobes!).  Find someone experienced with light cane work and start slowly.  Experiment with what feels best to you and what you can't stand.  The goal here isn't to raise huge welts - unless you don't have to do any walking for a while, in which case, go nuts -it's a great way to force immobilization/crawling on someone!  Try light rhythmic strokes to start, and figure out where the nerves that push your buttons are (for me, it's right in the center of the arch of my foot, as well as the outer ball of the foot near the pinkie toe).  Find out where it really bothers you (right on the center flat of my heel is a rough spot for me, right where the bone is -owowow), and figure out what makes it tick for you.  It's worth experimenting with.  If you don't have a cane, try a wooden spoon.  And have fun with it!

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Technique Tuesday: Permission to Go

A form of something like this has come up for us a few times in our relationship.  In your every day life there aren't many things that are as necessary as using the bathroom.  Having to get permission before doing such can be almost as extreme as getting permission to breathe - because there really is a point where you either have to do it, or something bad is going to happen.

I don't remember exactly how things turned out in the past - I do remember that it didn't go well, and for a while I just assumed it was something that wasn't going to work for us.  Then, one day, my girl brought it up again as something we should try integrating into our dynamic.  Generally I'm always up to attempting control over another part of her life.

I had to think about it though, since I'd be the one 'in charge' I had to come up with the rules and protocol that we were going to follow and make it something that we could both live with.  I always try to keep things simple, so our rules are the same way.  If we're in the same room she has to ask me to leave it.  At home she always has to ask to go to the bathroom even if we're in separate rooms.  If we're chatting on messenger she has to ask me to leave the computer - after 15 minutes if she hasn't gotten an answer she has permission to go because I'm obviously busy.

Why?

Well there are always multiple reasons - the main one for me is the control.  Any time I can withhold permission for her to do something is another time I can exercise my control over her and have her show her submission to my will.  I think something a lot of people miss because of the huge sexual focus is that (especially) D/s doesn't have to have anything to do with sex.

With that control I get a reaction - that reaction can either be relief and gratitude because I've given permission, or it can shock and indignation when I refuse.  Interestingly saying 'no' brings about a 'how dare you' kind of reaction more often than not.  Usually followed by an exasperated huff.  I find it cute, which I think makes her even more exasperated.

I've noticed that depending on what we're doing that desperation of 'I MUST' go right -now- seems to come on at different speeds.  Putting her on a clock really doesn't do much good.  So far I'm still trying to get a 'feel' for how things go, since it hasn't been that long since we started again I haven't started to probe too deeply into this yet.

Also - I admit that I have to keep my amusement contained after flipping over to my MSN window at work and seeing a string of messages over a 15 minute span of time that move from 'asking' quickly into 'begging' then 'desperation' as she realizes that no matter what she says I'm probably not going to come back in time to tell her to go and shes going to have to wait.

The sexual arousal thing from pressing on the G-spot doesn't really dominate my thinking.  I see it as a side effect and mild benefit.  I didn't even know anything about it until my girl mentioned omorashi to me - I think that's actually what started the conversation in the first place.

How's it work?

I touched on things briefly - normally face to face there is the 'surprise' that I say 'no'.  Now I say no just to get the face (guess my secret is going to be out on that one now).  I still find it kind of funny that this is something she asked for and when I exercise the control (rather than just giving instant permission) she get that 'I want to cross my arms and tap my foot' body language going.

Again - I haven't tested the limits much (at least not on purpose).  The other day she got pretty desperate while waiting for the 15 minutes while I was at work (she'd waited too long to ask in the first place).  The problem with testing limits is I'm not really interested in cleaning up accidents, and I don't want her to get cramps from holding it in too long.  Neither of those things are fun, or sexy.  Well ... accidents might happen, but that would be a specific instance, and not something I'd want as a 'real' accident.  Also - when you think about it - a lot of the time you're going to the bathroom before doing an activity, and making her wait is also making me wait to perform said activity (going out to dinner, or for a walk, having sex).

It can be a trip, but it's a double 'hit' for me.  I love control, and I love desperation and begging.  If you're like me, this is definitely something you should take a look at.

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Technique Tuesday: Bathroom Use Control

One of the most intimate activities of humans is that which takes place in the bathroom.  We close doors for a reason. Potty training reinforces the control we're to have in this area, and as we learn to become self-sufficient human beings, we begin to control our own bathroom use and the privacy therein.

Unless.

Unless of course, you are a slave, who hands all decisions over to her Master, and he decides that he'd like to use control over your bathroom use as one way to assert his ownership over you.

To be fair, this is actually something I requested in our lives.  It is, to me, a very intimate way of connecting to your slave, and to her animal instincts and urges.  As a pet owner, I control when my dog gets to go outside to do her business; if I'm busy, even if she asks nicely, she may have to wait a few minutes.  Why should it be any different for me, as a slave animal, when my owner is around?

Our rules around bathroom use are simple; if we are in the same room, I must ask to leave the room (which includes going to the bathroom), if he is home, I must ask to use the bathroom, and if we have messenger open on the computer while he is at work, I must ask to use the bathroom.  In the case of him being at work, if there is no answer, I am to wait fifteen minutes and then go.  Sometimes I wait longer, just because I'd rather wait for him to return.  Sometimes, if I am involved in something and don't ask until the need is urgent, that fifteen minutes is pure agony.

So, what's fun about it?

Well, other than the basics of being controlled, squirming desperate begging girls are one of my Master's biggest turn-ons.  Sometimes I think he loves seeing the ever-more-desperate messages on IM when I really have to go and he's away working.  (I like to beg the fifteen minutes away just in case he comes back to have mercy early).  The visual aspect, in person, is not to be easily dismissed either.  Wriggling around and squeezing your thighs together can look remarkably similar to sexual arousal in some respects.

Desperation can come on quickly or slowly, depending on how much liquid has been consumed, and of course a slave is very vulnerable to torture when in this position, either by being forced to drink more liquid, or by pressing on her already full bladder.  It's a great time for humiliation as well, and imagine the horror at being taken out in public while incredibly desperate!

Additionally, a full bladder presses on the interior of the G-spot, so that pressure from an increasingly enlarged and full bladder can cause sexual arousal.  Who'd have thought?  Well, the Japanese for one, who have a whole fetish, omorashi, revolving around women with full bladders.  They have a game show about it, where girls compete to hold out the longest, and it has a huge anime/manga subculture attached to it.  Just think, all those desperate girls who only need to find the right Dom to beg for their release from!  Oh, bathroom release of course.  We'll have to talk about begging for the other kind of release another time.

So, what's it like in practice?

It can be intense.  It can be a big turn-on, though it's hard for me to define whether it's giving over control that sets my motor humming or whether it's the physical sensation of that press on the G-spot.  There is definitely some sort of physical component involved, though it may be friction from all the squirming and the concentration on muscle control.  I don't enjoy holding it so long that I end up with cramps, or so long that I completely lose control, though who knows if Master will push me that far some day.  The thought both frightens and excites me. 

It's important to be aware that if you are prone to frequent kidney or bladder infections, have a UTI, or kidney disease, or any other disorder where holding your urine could cause medical problems that bathroom use control is not for you.  Like any other BDSM activity, your own mental and physical health should come before kink.  It helps if you do regular kegel exercises, which will greatly increase both your control and your comfort.

If you're unsure, give it a try on a limited basis.  It might be your thing, and you might like that squirmy intensity.

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Technique Tuesday: Teasing

So - like with everything there is a story.  For me it started with wanting my slave to be available for me whenever I wanted her to be available.  Sure this might sound sexy, but it wasn't just about sex (or not specifically 'that' kind of available).  It was more about the control - I wanted to know I could touch her wherever and whenever I wanted.  I tried various things, but she never really seemed to get there - she didn't like to be casually touched or played with.  I guess I could kind of understand that, but in a way it was disappointing.

I'm not sure if it was my continued pressing of her, or if she just happened to come across orgasm denial randomly one day - I like to think my training attempts bore fruit, but hey I'm not that picky.  To shorten a long story, I was on board for the orgasm denial, like I needed an excuse to exercise control or something - yeah right.  Things went well, really well actually.  There is a point where she tips over the top of 'interested' and starts falling into the valley of 'cranky' but once we located that point it is easy to manipulate.

I think it was during that process that she found enjoyment in casual attention.  While she was being denied she would beg to just be played with even knowing there wasn't going to be a 'happy ending'.  I wasn't one to object, but I still had other things to do, so she got 'unfocused' attention a lot of the time (this feeds into her mild objectification fetish).  And this is where we are today.

The mental process -

I like begging, desperation, focused 'neediness' and incoherent 'want'.  I like being the one to both give the sensation that leads up to that point, and to control if it continues, stops, or moves into something more intense.  If you've been following along this is likely a 'so what else is new' moment since I seem to say that kind of thing a lot.  There is something to be said of having a 'toy' to play with while you're doing other things - if you haven't tried it, you don't know what you're missing.

The physical process -

This isn't static of course, but is dependant on the position I'm in.  Generally the position involves her leaning against me with my arm around her, or her laying with her head in my lap - this gives me access to the top half of her body.  Now I love her breasts, don't get me wrong, but that isn't what it's all about either.  Remember this is usually 'passive' attention - I'm not really focusing on what I'm doing.  This usually involves petting, stroking and mild nipple play.  Often I'll just stroke her hair, or idly slide my fingers across her stomach.

To pick things up a bit I'll take a minute or two and focus on her nipples, or some mild breath play.  I usually don't continue for prolonged periods when I'm just teasing - partly because that takes focus, and partly because usually we're watching TV and if I play with her too much she completely misses what's going on (surprise surprise).

I guess in short, it really doesn't matter 'what' you're doing - its the touch that matters.  Mix up casual touching with more intimate 'playing' and eventually you get her in a 'state' (as she calls it).  Doing this for hours is apparently a form of pleasure torture, since she begins writhing and whimpering.

Now the touch differs if say, she's laying beside me and I'm sitting up.  Then I can reach her lower half, and it's even more fun (though more intense) to idly play with her clit than with her nipples.  Obviously it's more sensitive, (YMMV here) you really don't have to do much here to get the same effect - long periods of gentle stimulation usually get to the begging stage faster than anything else.  There is also a host of sexy things about a woman's legs that I'll leave you to discover on your own if you don't know already.

Edging -

Without going into orgasm denial (since I think that's a separate topic) I wanted to touch on edging a bit while we were talking about teasing.  This is a more direct form of teasing that both takes concentration and a bit of knowledge of your partner.  What do I mean by edging?

For me, edging is when I am giving her 'intense' stimulation to the point where she 'could' cum.  Now in our dynamic she has to ask, again YMMV, so I have the luxury of saying 'not yet' and having her co-operate here.  If you don't have that luxury you just have to be a bit more careful.  Changing the stimulation, backing off, or alternately doing something and 'not' allowing her to cum at that point is (I'm sure) torture enough, but the key here is to keep her at that point.  Never let the 'pleasure' fade off, keep doing what you're doing to hold her at that point.

This is where the knowledge of your partner is necessary.  I can read when she's getting close, so I know if I need to back off a bit.  I like knowing how my toys work (inside and out) so this was a fun process for me to discover.  Now I feel like I can play her like an instrument, pushing a button here, stroke a chord there and voila!

Also with edging I'd be careful not to 'overdo' it.  I think at some point it starts to lose it's effectiveness, you'll have to determine that point for yourself.  It's also fatiguing on you (the doer) to keep up that stimulation indefinately.  I usually set a realistic time, like 5 or 10 minutes.  I also like telling her what the current time limit is going to be and counting it off for her.  Sometimes I count backwards and watch her get a really wild/frustrated/angry look in her eyes that makes it all worth it.

To end -

I think the teasing ties more into the mental aspect of submission than into the physical.  If you're interested in mental domination it's definitely something that should be in your 'bag of tricks'.  There are a multitude of ways you can fuck her head while you're fucking with her body at the same time - I won't give away all my secrets, but if you're even a little sadistic I'm sure you can already see the possibilities.

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Technique Tuesday: The Art of the Tease

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Technique Tuesday: Rope Corsetry

So - I have this thing about rope.  It's hot, I like how it feels, I like how it smells, and I like playing with it.  Now playing with it can come in lots of flavors, just working it in my hands, tying knots, tying practice knots around myself, and tying knots around people.  I prefer the tying knots around people as much as possible, but sometimes that just isn't practical.

I'm not an expert, not by a long shot - I couldn't tell you the different between two different kinds of knots other than to say 'Hey I can tie that, its cool' and 'wtf, how did you do that?'.  Usually when I ask the second question I get a demonstration, usually once I tie a knot myself a few times it sticks in my brain and I can use it when I need to.

Where does my love of rope stem from?  I love working with my hands.  My girl usually giggles when I say stuff like that and tells me I have 'magic' in my hands, or some other such thing.  It's cute, and she's adorable - and its the truth.  There is just some kind of satisfaction I get after having put something together with my hands, when I can step back and admire my 'work'.  I dunno how to describe it, it isn't solely satisfaction, part of it is 'this is my art' and part of it might be 'thats my girl all tied up'.  However you slice it - I just like doing it.  I even like just sitting around trying to get a cuff knotted properly around her ankle that I've been working on for a while.

Anyway - onto the actual subject of the post.

I had been looking at some breast bondage, different kinds of halters and harnesses and I found one that I really liked (by TKB I think).  It was designed to immobilize the arms behind the back in addition to being a halter, but I figured I could skip that and modify it a bit to get what I wanted out of it.

Best part? - the breasts

We have a play party coming up this weekend, and I got the idea that for 'fetish' wear I could tie a rope corset on my slave and she'd be all set to go.  Never having done a corset before I did some looking online for the right kind of design - I found a few that had a 'quick release' built into them, but that required shoving a knitting needle through the knots and I just didn't like the overall look of it.  Since I was planning to have her wearing it long term, comfort, as well as aesthetics were important.  If she needed a quick release, wearing it out of the house was probably a bad plan anyway.

Just as an aside - we've done this kind of intricate bondage before and she's worn it for extended periods so I'm less concerned about her 'freaking out' while tied up and me having to cut her out of it.  If you're just getting started in this that's something you have to watch for, keep a pair of heavy scissors handy and don't be afraid to 'waste' all that rope chopping her out of it if things start to go badly.  Safety is more important than your kink (Unless Safety is your kink, then you're all good).

So - I actually discovered that corsets were pretty easy.  Once you get a harness in place (it can be any harness) you just loop through your byte and start wrapping.  Each wrap loops through the last 'byte' and you get a nice crisscross pattern all down the front.  In the back you have a clean smooth rope line.  Fantastic.  So we went to the store and bought about mmm, 250ft of rope.  Not fancy rope, since we're kind of broke at the moment, but twisted nylon and some clothesline (3/8 inch).  I liked the look of the 3/8 on her, I had considered the 1/2inch as well, but I wanted to get more wraps in and they didn't have enough rope in the 1/2inch size anyway.

rear view of the harness knots

After a bit of review of the process I started on the breast harness.  She loves having her breasts cinched up, so this part went pretty smoothly.  I was a bit anxious though and had her spinning around right after dinner, so she got a little nauseous and we had to take a break.  Tip: Be a good Dom and don't spin her around like a top on a full stomach.

The harness went on nicely though, and her first comment? 'Wow, look at my breasts!'  Definitely a boob lifter, one of the bonuses of having a well endowed girl who's into rope bondage.  I used to have a lot of problem at this point doing the 'over-the-shoulder' rigging, either it would irritate her neck (especially long term) or strangle her, or both.  I discovered a 'double coin knot' that could be used in this instance to put the pressure in another location rather than directly on the body.  One of these behind the shoulders and one at the base of the throat seemed to properly distribute the tension, and we were in business.

Closeup of the corset knotting

When the harness was finished the next part went pretty smoothly.  I did some walking around her, she did some lifting her arms up and down.  When I'm doing this for real I'll pay more attention to centering the knots, but this was just practice so my 'braid' went kind of crooked

The finished product was impressive - if I do say so myself (and I do).  A few times she had gasped and was commenting on how constrictive it felt, I was being careful not to cinch it too tightly (something to watch for!) I wasn't pulling on the ends, I was just snugging it all together - so I imagine if I really wanted to give her a trip I could have snugged everything up a bit tighter.  We might try that another day at home just to see what the effect is like.

I let her sit around in the rope for the rest of the night, she enjoys the feeling and I enjoy seeing her tied up - win win.  Even with all her movement it stayed in place quite well - my knot did slip, so I'm going to find a different way to tie it off before the party.  That won't take long though - and it was almost as fun taking it back off of her, as it was putting it on.  Got a great picture of the rope marks it left behind too.

Technique Tuesday: Ropework Corset

Rope bondage has been a favourite activity of ours for a long time now.  It was one of the first interests that my Master had in BDSM, and we've had a lot of fun over the years playing with different types of things.  Usually this has taken the form of breast bondage for play, which is one of my favourite things ever, but this weekend we were playing around with rope corsetry.

The reason for it was simple; next Saturday we'll be attending a play party put on by Whiplash Productions* and Master decided that I'll be wearing the rope corset to the party.  Fun for everyone!  So a test run was in order, to be sure it was feasible and to be sure I'd be able to wear it long term.

When we first started with rope bondage, Master had a pair of heavy-duty scissors available at all times, just in case I panicked or needed to be out of it fast.  As time went on, and I became more and more enamored of the feeling of bondage, we began working on longer and longer term tie-ups, and more elaborate rope work.  As such, we were not working on a quick release corset, but one which would be knotted in place, and would take a certain amount of time for removal.  This made it more important that it was comfortable long-term.  Well, if not comfortable, per se, something that I could bear long term without whining and driving him crazy.

Being tied into the breast harness first was wonderful.  Of course, breast bondage is one of my favourite things.  There is something about feeling confined and controlled when you're still able to move around that is just extraordinary.  Not to mention that in particular, breasts - which are such a symbol of femininity and what makes a woman a woman - in confinement seems to bring about an almost spiritual level of submission for me.  It's a way of giving him the very essence of who I am to control.

Detail of knotwork on the back of my neck

I particularly liked this harness tie.  It seemed designed to make my breasts look even bigger than they are naturally, which is kind of impressive in and of itself.  It wasn't constricting enough to cause pain, just a certain tight level of discomfort that I enjoy quite a bit.  It worked up and around my neck with some beautiful, decorative knots on my chest and back.  I love it when bondage can be pretty, too, which is kind of the point of shibari bondage.  I did get the bonus of added sensitivity in my breasts, but this bondage wasn't tight or severe enough to cause restriction in blood flow, so coloration of the breasts didn't change.  This was a good thing; that kind of bondage shouldn't be worn long term, or in a situation like a play party where it might not be easy to undo myself quickly.

When the corset began, I did have a little bit of trouble.  We'd had a busy day, and I was tired and feeling a little sick after dinner, and the being spun in circles made me dizzy and nauseous.  Sometimes I really love being manhandled, but I'd already been spun a little bit for the breast harness and this was just too much.  I had to request a break.  Thankfully, Master was understanding and let me sit down and catch my breath.  There's always a risk for us in bondage that constricts my chest because I have asthma, so he's usually pretty good about letting me monitor how I'm feeling and giving me the leeway I might need in these situations.  After about ten minutes of controlling my breathing and drinking some water, I was doing better, and we went back to work.

It didn't take long to complete the corset, and to avoid making me dizzy again, this time Master walked around me to work on it. Pretty soon he was tying it off.  I loved the row of knots down the front of my body; they were beautiful and added a bit of structure to the feel of the corset.  I didn't think it was particularly tight, definitely not uncomfortably so, but I think that may have done with it going on slowly and having a break in the middle.  After it was removed, however, I had quite a nice pattern of rope marks in my skin, an added bonus that Master seemed to particularly love.

Aftermath: My Back

Wearing the corset was definitely something I could do for hours, and I was sorry and protesting when it was time to take it off for bed.  It should be a blast to wear it at the play party this coming Saturday, where all of you attending can check out Master's knotwork for yourselves.  I can't wait to be tied in again!


*You can find Whiplash Productions here on FetLife.  This is the event listing for the workshops and play party this coming weekend.  Come out and play!  We'd love to see you there.

Technique Tuesday: Hot Hands

I had looked at a few pictures recently where there was a full hand print on a girl's ass.  I thought it was kind of hot, the 'how' of it escaped me for a while though. I mean, I'm all into spanking, but that always leaves a pretty even red flush on the skin, I posited that hitting the same place repeatedly for an indetermined period of time would likely produce that result, but even then I couldn't see hitting the exact same spot over and over in the same way.

It was eventually that train of thought (well if I hit harder would it happen sooner) that gave me the idea that if I put enough force into it, one swat could produce that effect.  I gave my thigh a good whack to see if it brought a red mark to the surface - yep, red mark.  So my hypothesis is correct, now I just needed to test it.

It was getting late and I was ready for bed, then I went to gather up my girl - she was looking at an ass with a hand print on it.  How ironic you say? I thought so too.  So I said - 'sure, we'll do that after you get ready for bed'  The look she gave me was priceless.  Now, she might not admit it right away, but she likes things that scare or intimidate her, and I like it when shes scared or intimidated - so we work well together.  She went off to finish getting ready for bed, and I went into the bedroom to wait for her.

Lack of definition

When she came back I 'helped' her undress, then without ceremony bent her over our bed.  We have an awesome bed for this kind of thing, it comes up to about my waist, so is probably at least 3 feet high off the ground, great bending over mark.  I'm not sure what she thought was going to happen exactly, but her knees were shaking and she was concerned about falling over.  I know I didn't tell her to 'suck it up' but it was something along the lines of 'too bad'.  Now, I explained how the process was going to work - since I wasn't really sure of what the hell I was doing, I like to explain things so she knows what's going on and my reasoning.  I think she agreed that my reasoning was sound - whimpering could mean lots of things though so I'm not 100% sure.

I turned to the side and did the old golf practice swing warm up.  I resolved to put a good full arm swing behind it, I wanted to get this right the first time since I was only going to have 2 shots at it (one on each cheek).  I also spread my fingers pretty wide, since I thought that would be a more clearly defined hand print.

When I swung I pulled it a bit at the last moment, so it ended up being probably about half my full strength.  She shrieked and I think there was an 'oh my god'.  I didn't feel like I'd gotten the full impact that I wanted, since my hand wasn't sore - it had sure been loud though.  It only took a moment for the outline of one finger and half my thumb to appear, but that was it, and it was dull and almost fading away again immediately.  Shit.

Both sides after one swat each

Aight, so I moved to the other side and prepped my left hand.  I got a bit of feedback - things like 'is it too painful?' 'did I hurt anything serious?' - nope nothing injured, we're good to go.  I gave her a minute to recover though, I mean - as much as she likes spanking I didn't want this to just be a painful experience for her, that wasn't the point - or at least not all of the point.

For the second swat I kept my fingers very close together and put more force into it - not a lot more, but definitely more.  It made her jump forward a bit on the bed and there was 'ow ow ow' coming from somewhere in the covers she was burying her face in.  This one left an almost perfect imprint of my fingers, but I was a bit too far into the center of her ass and my palm and thumb were missing - *sigh*.  I did stop at this point to take pictures though since it was damn hot either way, and I was worried it would fade quickly.

When I was done with the pictures I couldn't even tell I'd hit her with my right hand.  So without much warming I just stepped up next to her and slammed my hand down - probably a little better and 3/4's of my full strength.  I really put my arm into it and tried to keep my fingers mostly together, with my thumb apart.  The force lifted her up off her toes and pushed her onto the bed.  This was followed by screaming and cussing.  Normally she doesn't swear unless something really bad happens - I actually felt a bit proud that I'd made her let out a string of curse words.  Bingo!  When I got a look it was almost a fully perfect hand print.

Last attempt - full hand print

I also took pictures of this - just in case it faded.  That was it, all done with the play session - it was late anyway.  I actually quite enjoyed myself.  The mental was there, the physical.  And when she sat on the bed she wiggled around and told me that she could feel my hand on her ass.  What else can you ask for?

Not something I would do on a daily basis, but when I get the urge to leave a mark on her ass with my hand, I'll definitely be doing this again.  She told me the next day that there was a mild ache, but nothing like when we have a real play session.  That's ok, I wanted the visual anyway.

Just as a note - the outline completely faded in about an hour, so if you want to snap a shot for the memory books, make sure you have your camera ready.  Maybe next time I'll hit her harder and see how long it lasts in comparison.

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Technique Tuesday: The One-Smack Spanking

We all have days where we want pain, where we want a bit of play, and just don't have the time.  It's already almost bedtime, you've had a rough day, you're tired.  You have time for sex but nothing elaborate.  What do you do?

In particular, I love having a tender, stinging bottom.  Getting that way with a slow warm-up, and a long hard spanking rocks my socks.  But getting to the destination via a shortcut can work well too.  That's where the one-smack spanking comes in.

Yowch!

It's a little scary.  I shake.  That's okay, cause when I'm shaking and scared, Master gets really turned on.  I know that I'm going to get a smack with almost his full strength.  And when it comes, it leaves a print.  A nice, red outline of a hand on my bottom, that is incredible in it's initial impact and stings as much as a long warm-up does.

The interesting thing about it is, that afterwards, when Master sat me on my bum, what I felt was a sting and tingle in the shape of his hand.  The "shape" of it was interesting, and very different from a "regular" spanking.  The landing of the blows themselves is very intense, and provoked some interesting words from my lips.  I'm usually pretty squealy and squirmy, but I don't usually cuss during a spanking.  This time?  Oh yeah, the cussing came out.  But the intensity is mitigated by the brevity.  I knew I could deal with it, because it was going to be done and over with.

The effectiveness of this depends on what you're after.  I had only a very mild next-day ache, and the next day I found myself craving lots of pain and a very long session.  If you follow this blog, you might have seen me post about it here.  I think if the goal is to leave the submissive partner wanting more, this is a good way to get there.  It is not a substitute for a "real" spanking, when you really need one, but it's a fun way to implement a little bit of playing into a busy day where you don't have the time and/or inclination to set up or deal with a full out evening long activity.  Let's face facts, sometimes in life you have half an hour from start to finish, and if you want sex too, a long session of butt swatting is not in the cards.  This is a great way to introduce a bit of head space, add a little fun, and make a souvenir photo for all parties involved of a nicely printed hand.

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Technique Tuesday: Art of Begging

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Technique Tuesday: Begging

What is it?  How do you do it properly?  And what is it about begging that makes people so turned on?

Even after ten years, my Master and I are still discovering interesting things about one another.  I always knew he kind of liked begging.  Now and then he would demand that I beg for something, and I would do my best to do so.  I liked the humbling nature of it, it would make my stomach twist in the same way that it does when he calls me a slut.  It's humiliating, to some degree, but in a safe and pleasant way.

But what is the difference between begging and groveling, and nicely asking?  Is there one?

The piece of writing that Master wrote last night was interesting to me, and provoked quite a discussion in our household.  I asked him if I knew how to "beg" properly, and he asked me to show him how I would ask, if he told me I had to beg for a soda.

"Please Master, may I please have a soda?"

He replied, "And if I said no?"

At that point I told him I'd say, "Yes Master" and stop begging, because it is my tendency to be obedient and when he tells me no, to accept it.  Whoops.  Hadn't ever considered that the "No" would be part of a game of further begging.

When I'm told no by him, it really is my nature to accept it and try to deal with the consequences of the no, whether it's a no to an orgasm that I desperately want and am having a hard time fighting off while he does unspeakable and unspeakably delicious things to me, or no to a pair of shoes I'd love to buy.  I consider myself spoiled, because I do get many of the things I ask for, so I also think it's my place to accept a no gracefully and without being a bother about it.

As we talked, we figured out that if I knew it was part of the game for him to say no, that I wouldn't have a problem continuing to beg.  I also would continue to beg if it were something that affected my well-being; for example, if I was told I would have nothing to drink for a week if I did not beg for that soda.  I of course trust that he would never follow through on such a thing, because he wouldn't want me to die of thirst, but his disappointment in my failure would about kill me and would be almost as painful.

How do you do it?

When presented with that last scenario, I was asked what I would do, and I explained there would be lots of "Please, Master?"ing combined with crawling around at his feet, tugging at his clothing with my teeth, whimpering, and kitten-type rubbings of my cheek against his body parts.  He agreed that this would be suitable begging.

I'm sure that the actual specifics of it are different for everyone, but I think it has to contain some type of humbling of oneself to really qualify as begging, such as the crawling about his feet.  It should obviously contain the request in some form, asked nicely of course, and not with much, if any whining.

Not whining?

I'm really good at whining.  I'm kinda sorry that begging is different from whining.  I can be very cute when I whine, have puppy dog eyes, and a pouty lower lip.

It's not bargaining.

The one thing we both agreed that begging was not, was offering one thing for another.  For example, "Please Master, if you let me have the soda I'll polish your boots."  Well, he could order me to do that at any time, anyway.  What's the point in offering things he already has?  It's never worked, although I've resorted to bargaining in the past when really really really desperate for an orgasm.  It only made him laugh some.

It can contain groveling, but not consist entirely of it.

Groveling and telling someone how amazing they are and how lowly you are is great.  It's humiliating.  It's a definite exchange of power.  But it doesn't contain a request per se.  Still, a good begging session should definitely contain some groveling just for spice.

What do you get out of it?

Well, if you're successful, I guess you get what you're asking for.  When Master wants it, I get the fluttery-happy feeling of him being pleased.  But it's also a profound confirmation of submission and humility.  It's not easy to do, not for an extended period, and especially not for something you're not sure that you want.  It can get deep inside your head, though, which is one of the more fun aspects of BDSM relationships. As for what the dominant partner gets out of it, you'll have to wait until my other half posts.....

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Technique Tuesday - Leather Gloves Spanking

I've always thought spankings were sexy – there is something about bending a woman over my knee that just does 'it' for me. The only unfortunate thing I've discovered is that I'm human, and sometimes my own flesh doesn't quite live up to my expectations.

There are times when a light spanking, with more touching and feeling and less 'spanking' is what I'm in the mood for, but there are also times when I want to beat my slave until she's crying and begging me to stop. It's when I'm aiming for the latter that I started having trouble. Why do I have trouble? Because she has two ass cheeks and I only have one right hand. I suppose if I was more ambidextrous that might mitigate things a little, but I'm not – and my left hand while still effective, doesn't give me the control I would wish for.

We've experimented with impact toys, but again I lose that control, and the feel of my hand actually slapping skin, which is part of what I enjoy. Potential solution – Leather Gloves.

My hands in gloves - quarter for scale

I'd actually completely forgotten that we had these, I believe they originally came to me for X-mas with my leather trench coat a few years ago. I'm not sure 'where' they came from, other than my wife got them for me, so if you're curious you'd have to ask her. They fit my hands nicely, it also makes me smile when I create a fist and hear a slight squeak. I can still feel a bit through them so they aren't super thick. I rubbed my own bare skin a bit with them to see what it felt like – to me it felt slightly cool and very slick. I'm sure most of you know what leather feels like.

On to our play session. I had her over my knee, my arm moving in a good rhythm – the crack and slap audible as I alternated over thighs, buttocks and hips. Eventually, as usual, my hand started to sting – which is usually a good measure for what she is feeling but today is my cue to toss on the gloves and see what happens.

With the gloves on I gave her a bit of a rub over her rear to get the sensation of them before I started back in on the spanking. The first thing I noticed was the sound – much different. It was like there was more air compression, but it flowed outward rather than downward, like it spread out the impact more. I could see the effect as I started to work up to harder slaps, her skin rippling outward rather than impacting beneath my hand.

I didn't feel the sting on my own hand any longer, there was a muted thud with each blow – I took this as a good sign and continued with the spanking. I began progressing to harder and harder blows because I was failing to illicit much reaction. This is common when she is 'sub-spacing' and has a bit of a disconnect with her body, but I didn't get the impression that was going on. Toward the end I was actually giving her moderately hard full armed blows and barely getting a jerk.

Overall – I'm mostly disappointed with the gloves. I ended up tiring my arm out, and the impact still made my hand ache. In some ways it was worse because it was a deep ache and not a surface sting. Her ass never turned that lovely right red that I enjoy proving that she's taken a sound beating for me. I get the impression this might be a good way to introduce someone new to spanking since you get the full workout but less of the overall effect. Definitely something to try for the new experience, but not something I'll be introducing regularly at our home.

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Technique Tuesday: The Leather Glove Spanking

One of my favourite things is a spanking.  I like intense spankings, that go on longer than I might want them to - and that is part of the point.  I want to be taken past my comfort level, taken to where I have tears in my eyes and am struggling against the blows.  Light, sensual spankings have their place, and are definitely also a turn-on, but there is really no replacement for a serious spanking.  It's something I need soul-deep every once in a while.

The problem with these spankings is that my behind is bigger than my Master's hand, despite how big his hands are.  That means he gets as much of a sting to his hand as I do to my bottom, often to an extreme degree by the time I'm pushed over the edge of what I really need from a spanking.  We needed a solution that left his hand intact and my bottom aching to the degree that I need and he desires.  We also were hoping to maintain the intimacy of a hand-to-bottom spanking.  While I love other impact toys, there is a specific kind of intimacy that comes from him using his hands that is absolutely irreplacable, in my opinion (this comes to other kinds of play, too.  Maybe I'm just an attention whore - hah.)

Our solution?  Leather gloves.

Leather of course has a feel that is similar to skin, because of course it is skin, just not human.  Our small dog will verify this; she takes comfort from licking, and when we're tired of tongue baths, she chooses to lick our leather furniture.  But I digress...

The experience itself was interesting.  Midway through an over the knee spanking, there was a sudden coolness to his caress on my overheated bottom.  Whoah.  Had he changed hands?  No.  The smell of leather.  I figured it out; the gloves had come on.  My headspace completely changed.  For some reason, the gloves going on told me that this was about to get really serious.

Then... smack.  Oh, well that wasn't bad.  It was way more thuddy than a bare hand, and much less painful.  As the thuds continued, I found myself at first raising my bottom for more and more.  I wasn't getting the sting of a regular spanking, but the rather diffuse impact that some thuddy impact toys can cause.  I liked that I was still getting the intimacy of the caresses and squeezes in between spanks, and I didn't feel as removed from him as I do during some impact play (hard to feel disconnected anyway, when you're naked on someone's lap!)

Over time, I could feel the blows getting harder and harder, but it was a significantly different kind of spanking than usual.  I did get to the tears in my eyes point, but I think my Master was slightly disappointed that there wasn't more of a struggle to get away.  Usually I'm trying to crawl off in other directions, but there were only a couple of minor attempts, because I didn't really have that fear response that I usually do.  I think this was because of the thuddiness of the blows.  I will take an extremely hard beating from a thuddy flogger, for instance, and make very little attempt to escape it, but some other implements (the times we've used a wooden spoon, for instance) where very quickly I am trying to get my behind out of the way.

Just to explain, I do try to hold still.  Usually I'm not restrained for a beating.  It's when the animal part of my mind takes over that I try to crawl away, and occasionally I'm not even aware that I'm doing it.  It's about being reduced to pure instinct, and then taken in hand, because even when the primordial fight or flight part of my brain comes alive, he's still in control.

My overall opinion?  Leather gloves are interesting, for a different style of spank.  It's not something I think I would request over all, though if it helps my other half give a spanking in more comfort for him, it's certainly not something I would complain about.  It makes it much easier to take a very long spanking, and left much less residual soreness afterwards, and less heat.  A technique worth exploring, if spanking is a regular event in a household.

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