Technique Tuesday: Beat the Feet

I learned something new this week, which is always a good thing.  I don't think I've mentioned it on here, but I grew up reading the Gor series by John Norman.  It shaped a lot of my views on life in general and I still identify partly as a 'Gorean'.  Well, while doing some searching about this topic my girl discovered that Bastinado was actually used on Gor - I had no idea (or likely at the time reading it I had no idea what the word meant so it didn't stick in my head).

So - that's my cool T. trivia for the week.

Onto the real topic - Beating Feet.

For us this was a long process.  When we first met she wouldn't even let me look at her feet, let alone touch them.  Beating them was like some kind of crazy fantasy that was likely never going to come true.

Just like with everything else, taking it slow and working up to things is how you get it done.  I was actually kind of disappointed at first because I'd actually learned that feet can be a big erogenous zone for women and I'd practiced enough that I could give pretty killer foot massages (with ulterior motives).  So - to begin I started by explaining all that, then worked on her letting me touch them, then onto rubbing.  As a side note she has the most ticklish feet ever and it is 'very' hard to resist absolutely torturing her by tickling them all the time.

Kitty Demo Bottom

I think after the first 'real' foot massage I had her convinced, and since then she's been less skittish about me being near them.  I'm not sure that they're 'innocent' feet any longer, but she still claims that they are whenever I 'abuse' them.

Like many things, this was a topic she actually brought up.  While I push her limits I usually wait for her to accept that new boundary and come up with her own ideas so she moves forward at her own pace.  I'm not sure exactly where this idea came up and she actually had to explain it to me, but once I got the idea in my head it definitely became my own.

Caning of the feet - how to start?  With a cane of course.  First problem ... she is way too ticklish for 'light' caning.  She burst out in giggles and was kicking madly.  We ended up putting on a pair of really thick socks and working from there.  Also for the first few sessions I had to hold her feet down (or tie them) pretty tightly to prevent kicking and flailing.

We progressed into thinner socks, then finally onto bare feet.  It wasn't actually a long process, after every other session or so we advanced a bit further - I think she got more comfortable with it over time and could just enjoy the sensations.

Since we had a decent toy box (back in the past) I didn't limit myself to just caning her feet.  I've used floggers, slappers, wooden spoons - quite a few things actually on her feet.  Nothing seems to give the same effect or control as a cane does though.  I also particularly like the bouncy effect an acrylic cane has.  It's almost a fluid movement moving my wrist back and forth while it warps and bends a bit, letting the momentum take some of the effort.

In actual practice there are a ton of different ways to actually perform bastinado.  I'll focus on the cane, since that's what I use most often - with feet being small it's easier to control the blows with something a bit smaller.

Just like using a cane on other parts I'm sure most of the technique is the same.  Most of the force comes either from my wrist, or from the cane itself.

Rapid blows are performed by quickly flicking the wrist and letting the cane 'bounce' on the skin.  Since the canes are often slightly springy (unless they're huge), taking advantage of their momentum lets you create more force without putting out a lot of effort.

Harder and more solid blows can be performed by using a faster flick of the wrist and at the same time trying to press the crop through the skin so it doesn't rebound back.

Do you see the blissed look on her face?

Using the center of the cane usually has more spring than using the tip.  In fact the tip can cause a more direct and forceful blow to a small area, since it is the center that flexes the tip will hit solidly and stay firmly in place after the blow (I've noticed this becomes thuddier rather than stingyier).

I also make longer and more widely timed blows by using my whole arm and letting the weight of the cane cause the impact rather than the energy from my wrist.  The same kind of technique you use when flogging works here.  Some lighter canes still require force to land solidly.

Depending on your partner there is also a difference between striking both feet at once, or one at a time.  Often it's difficult to line them up properly unless they're tied, and even then your partner will likely try to hide one under the other.  I've found that I have to hold them with one hand and strike with the other.  There isn't a 'better' way of course, by striking one at a time you can get inside your partner's head, they never really know where the blows are going to land so it makes it harder to protect one (or both) of the feet.

Since this often mixes two of my favorite past times (bondage and impact play) it is definitely one of my favorite activities.  If you haven't tried it, start with a light tapping and see how that feels, then go from there.  I think it would be worth your while.

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Technique Tuesday: Bastinado

Bastinado, also known as falanga and falaka, is the art of whipping the bottoms of pretty, vulnerable, innocent little feets.  Or at least that's what I call my feet when I'm trying to hide them, sole-to-sole, against a threatening cane.  "Poor innocent feets!"

The truth is, I just love it.

I have this thing about not liking feet in general.  I think they're kind of icky.  I hate having people touch mine, especially strangers.  I don't even like people looking at mine unless they are safely tucked away in socks.  I just don't think of them as a pretty part, and the idea of a foot fetish in general makes me very confused.  To me, it might as well be an elbow fetish; I just don't get it.  Then again, everyone's kink is different.

Then I wound up with this guy who gives amazing foot massages.  He explained to me the ways in which he'd learned to get women all worked up... through their feet.  I didn't think it was possible.  I mean feet?  Feet?  Sexy times with feet?  No way.

It took a long time for me to be able to relax enough to let him touch them, let alone massage them.  My feet are very sensitive and ticklish, and I hate being tickled (See here for reference!), so it took some real trust to let him have his way with them without protest, squealing, and struggling to get away.  When I did?  Oh it was a complete revelation.  And while at times I'm still shy about my feet, and have a tendency to tuck them beneath myself, sit on them, hide them under pets or pillows or whatever else is handy when he reaches for them... I'm aware that there's much more to feet than meets the eye.

I've mentioned before how much I adore the videos from Hogtied, and that's where my curiosity about bastinado was piqued.  If massaging my feet was awesome, and hit all these erogenous spots, what would happen with caning of the feet?  I brought it up tentatively, shyly, uncertainly, and it gave the Masterly one kind of an evil glint in his eyes. He likes it, I think, when I am interested in trying something that also has me really freaked out.  He enjoys vulnerability and fear on display.

I can't remember when we first tried it, but it was years ago and with our previous acrylic cane.  We moved on to floggers, slappers, wooden spoons, and all kinds of punishment for those poor innocent feets.  And what I learned is, those same erogenous zones that got so stimulated from his massaging hands were even more stimulated with the pain of a beating.  It pushed all of my buttons, including, incidentally, my light interest in humiliation, because I find having my feet at his mercy both humbling and humiliating.  I'm not sure why, it's likely because it's a part of me that I feel so driven to keep hidden, the way most people would feel about displaying a blemish that made them self-conscious.  And my display of pleasure and arousal from it feeds that humiliation even more, of course.

If you've never tried bastinado, it's worth a try (especially for feet-o-phobes!).  Find someone experienced with light cane work and start slowly.  Experiment with what feels best to you and what you can't stand.  The goal here isn't to raise huge welts - unless you don't have to do any walking for a while, in which case, go nuts -it's a great way to force immobilization/crawling on someone!  Try light rhythmic strokes to start, and figure out where the nerves that push your buttons are (for me, it's right in the center of the arch of my foot, as well as the outer ball of the foot near the pinkie toe).  Find out where it really bothers you (right on the center flat of my heel is a rough spot for me, right where the bone is -owowow), and figure out what makes it tick for you.  It's worth experimenting with.  If you don't have a cane, try a wooden spoon.  And have fun with it!

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Technique Tuesday: Permission to Go

A form of something like this has come up for us a few times in our relationship.  In your every day life there aren't many things that are as necessary as using the bathroom.  Having to get permission before doing such can be almost as extreme as getting permission to breathe - because there really is a point where you either have to do it, or something bad is going to happen.

I don't remember exactly how things turned out in the past - I do remember that it didn't go well, and for a while I just assumed it was something that wasn't going to work for us.  Then, one day, my girl brought it up again as something we should try integrating into our dynamic.  Generally I'm always up to attempting control over another part of her life.

I had to think about it though, since I'd be the one 'in charge' I had to come up with the rules and protocol that we were going to follow and make it something that we could both live with.  I always try to keep things simple, so our rules are the same way.  If we're in the same room she has to ask me to leave it.  At home she always has to ask to go to the bathroom even if we're in separate rooms.  If we're chatting on messenger she has to ask me to leave the computer - after 15 minutes if she hasn't gotten an answer she has permission to go because I'm obviously busy.

Why?

Well there are always multiple reasons - the main one for me is the control.  Any time I can withhold permission for her to do something is another time I can exercise my control over her and have her show her submission to my will.  I think something a lot of people miss because of the huge sexual focus is that (especially) D/s doesn't have to have anything to do with sex.

With that control I get a reaction - that reaction can either be relief and gratitude because I've given permission, or it can shock and indignation when I refuse.  Interestingly saying 'no' brings about a 'how dare you' kind of reaction more often than not.  Usually followed by an exasperated huff.  I find it cute, which I think makes her even more exasperated.

I've noticed that depending on what we're doing that desperation of 'I MUST' go right -now- seems to come on at different speeds.  Putting her on a clock really doesn't do much good.  So far I'm still trying to get a 'feel' for how things go, since it hasn't been that long since we started again I haven't started to probe too deeply into this yet.

Also - I admit that I have to keep my amusement contained after flipping over to my MSN window at work and seeing a string of messages over a 15 minute span of time that move from 'asking' quickly into 'begging' then 'desperation' as she realizes that no matter what she says I'm probably not going to come back in time to tell her to go and shes going to have to wait.

The sexual arousal thing from pressing on the G-spot doesn't really dominate my thinking.  I see it as a side effect and mild benefit.  I didn't even know anything about it until my girl mentioned omorashi to me - I think that's actually what started the conversation in the first place.

How's it work?

I touched on things briefly - normally face to face there is the 'surprise' that I say 'no'.  Now I say no just to get the face (guess my secret is going to be out on that one now).  I still find it kind of funny that this is something she asked for and when I exercise the control (rather than just giving instant permission) she get that 'I want to cross my arms and tap my foot' body language going.

Again - I haven't tested the limits much (at least not on purpose).  The other day she got pretty desperate while waiting for the 15 minutes while I was at work (she'd waited too long to ask in the first place).  The problem with testing limits is I'm not really interested in cleaning up accidents, and I don't want her to get cramps from holding it in too long.  Neither of those things are fun, or sexy.  Well ... accidents might happen, but that would be a specific instance, and not something I'd want as a 'real' accident.  Also - when you think about it - a lot of the time you're going to the bathroom before doing an activity, and making her wait is also making me wait to perform said activity (going out to dinner, or for a walk, having sex).

It can be a trip, but it's a double 'hit' for me.  I love control, and I love desperation and begging.  If you're like me, this is definitely something you should take a look at.

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Technique Tuesday: Bathroom Use Control

One of the most intimate activities of humans is that which takes place in the bathroom.  We close doors for a reason. Potty training reinforces the control we're to have in this area, and as we learn to become self-sufficient human beings, we begin to control our own bathroom use and the privacy therein.

Unless.

Unless of course, you are a slave, who hands all decisions over to her Master, and he decides that he'd like to use control over your bathroom use as one way to assert his ownership over you.

To be fair, this is actually something I requested in our lives.  It is, to me, a very intimate way of connecting to your slave, and to her animal instincts and urges.  As a pet owner, I control when my dog gets to go outside to do her business; if I'm busy, even if she asks nicely, she may have to wait a few minutes.  Why should it be any different for me, as a slave animal, when my owner is around?

Our rules around bathroom use are simple; if we are in the same room, I must ask to leave the room (which includes going to the bathroom), if he is home, I must ask to use the bathroom, and if we have messenger open on the computer while he is at work, I must ask to use the bathroom.  In the case of him being at work, if there is no answer, I am to wait fifteen minutes and then go.  Sometimes I wait longer, just because I'd rather wait for him to return.  Sometimes, if I am involved in something and don't ask until the need is urgent, that fifteen minutes is pure agony.

So, what's fun about it?

Well, other than the basics of being controlled, squirming desperate begging girls are one of my Master's biggest turn-ons.  Sometimes I think he loves seeing the ever-more-desperate messages on IM when I really have to go and he's away working.  (I like to beg the fifteen minutes away just in case he comes back to have mercy early).  The visual aspect, in person, is not to be easily dismissed either.  Wriggling around and squeezing your thighs together can look remarkably similar to sexual arousal in some respects.

Desperation can come on quickly or slowly, depending on how much liquid has been consumed, and of course a slave is very vulnerable to torture when in this position, either by being forced to drink more liquid, or by pressing on her already full bladder.  It's a great time for humiliation as well, and imagine the horror at being taken out in public while incredibly desperate!

Additionally, a full bladder presses on the interior of the G-spot, so that pressure from an increasingly enlarged and full bladder can cause sexual arousal.  Who'd have thought?  Well, the Japanese for one, who have a whole fetish, omorashi, revolving around women with full bladders.  They have a game show about it, where girls compete to hold out the longest, and it has a huge anime/manga subculture attached to it.  Just think, all those desperate girls who only need to find the right Dom to beg for their release from!  Oh, bathroom release of course.  We'll have to talk about begging for the other kind of release another time.

So, what's it like in practice?

It can be intense.  It can be a big turn-on, though it's hard for me to define whether it's giving over control that sets my motor humming or whether it's the physical sensation of that press on the G-spot.  There is definitely some sort of physical component involved, though it may be friction from all the squirming and the concentration on muscle control.  I don't enjoy holding it so long that I end up with cramps, or so long that I completely lose control, though who knows if Master will push me that far some day.  The thought both frightens and excites me. 

It's important to be aware that if you are prone to frequent kidney or bladder infections, have a UTI, or kidney disease, or any other disorder where holding your urine could cause medical problems that bathroom use control is not for you.  Like any other BDSM activity, your own mental and physical health should come before kink.  It helps if you do regular kegel exercises, which will greatly increase both your control and your comfort.

If you're unsure, give it a try on a limited basis.  It might be your thing, and you might like that squirmy intensity.

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